August 25, 2009

  • random thought before bed last night

    At the end of the day, I'm not afraid of dying, not as a general idea.

    What I am afraid of:

    Dying randomly, in a time/place/manner that isn't of my own choosing and design. I think this stems from my dislike of unpredictability and lack of control. I don't want some random bus or criminal or disease to catch me unawares. I want it to be my decision, my way, whether that means the deep blue of the ocean or the deep sleep of pills.

    Dying alone, in the sense of being the only person present (not in the philosophical "we are all alone in the world" sense). I'm not sure why this is, but some part of me is desperately afraid of the thought that when the time comes, there won't be someone holding my hand, someone for me to look at and love.

Comments (6)

  • dying randomly.. like MJ.

  • like animals.. when they sense their last moments on earth is up, they tend to crawl under a tree or sheltered area and die alone.

  • wow, that's pretty deep.

    i'm just scared of suffocating in any manner be it drowning or locked inside a small compartment.

  • A lot of studies say that terminal patients with a good support system don't take dying as badly as one might think.  It's the lonely or friendless who really fear the whole process, so your take on things makes sense, even though they're not choosing to die.  It's just always true that it's the loved ones who are going to make the difference, right?

  • Well in most cases it is that we have no control over it, no? I mean we could in most cases jump in and speed up the process of course. I am not scared of dying too and I am not really thinking about it. I also have thought about timing though. What I do not want is to have a long lasting dying process. Shoot me and I'll be fine... And in my case, I am almost certain that there will be no one when it  happens.....

  • I would think that the worse way to die would be the way that the characters in the Alien movies die. You look down at your stomach in horror as this thing pops out of you. *shivers*

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