About two years ago, Kanga and I were traveling (as we tend to do) and after a long day of walking and standing and being cold, we were tired and hungry. We were trying to figure out what we wanted to do for dinner, and I decided that what I really wanted was a steak, but that I didn't want to have to sit upright at a table to eat the steak. I wanted to be able to lie down on the floor. Yes, I wanted to have my steak and eat it, too. On the floor. Thus began the dream of Steak on the Floor.

...

Apple loves food and cooking, and he wanted to make me a real dinner this week (as opposed to the still highly respectable dinners he throws together on week nights).

I showed up at his place at 7:30 with a bottle of wine and a movie, and we had a glass of wine while he finished cooking.
For him, cooking involves preheating plates, crushing fresh herbs, using multiple kinds of salt, and so on. I had made him a decent-sized Chinese dinner last week - three simple
Chinese dishes and some rice - which is a standard and respectable kind of meal in my
family, but I am contemplating never cooking for him again; it's just too embarrassing by comparison.

He arranged the food and brought it to the table - we always eat at his coffee table, Japanese-style, so I was all excited to get my Steak on the Floor. It was fantastic, both the steak and the floor. In addition to Steak on the Floor, we also had Shrimp on the Floor, Scallops on the Floor, Asparagus on the Floor, and Wasabi Mashed Potatoes on the Floor.

It was goooood. So-so cell phone picture, but awesome food.

I can't say that I have any complaints about this one so far

On a more serious note, as we were cleaning up afterwards, squeezing around in the little kitchen to get everything put away (unlike me, he is pretty much completely incapable of leaving a dirty dish in the sink), he brought up again that he's a bit "scared" by this whole thing, that in the beginning, we were both thinking more along the lines of, "Hey, we're both single and we seem to get along pretty well, this could be fun," and now it's somehow gotten more complicated and involved.

I asked him on chat today about that, and this is what he said:

In any case... you do what you can with what you have while it lasts.

***

I've started planning my final travels. Booked tickets to go to Amsterdam to see 2FX, a law school friend (the one I went to Poland and Slovakia with), and a friend from home. Planning a trip to Riga and Tallinn with Kanga, although the flight times are looking sort of annoying - but hopefully we'll work out a decent long weekend for that.

Six of us (Kanga, Roo, my officemate and her boyfriend, Apple, and I) are looking into driving to a little village in the Beaujolais region of France to try out a restaurant that got a crazy review from the same guy whose review motivated Kango, Roo and me to go to Brussels for dinner. So that should be some good, decadent fun.

Dive planning is starting to pick up some momentum - Bonaire is the island where I'm thinking of taking people, since I've
been there before and think it's probably the best place to be a
beginner diver and still see good stuff. Kanga is interested, and might get certified, and Roo might join, as
well. Apple is a total water baby, loves sailing and swimming and rowing, and so he's decided that he might as well learn how to dive, which would be perfect, because they could all get certified
together, which would make their class time more fun, and less
expensive. Bonaire has windsurfing and sailing, too, and a national park and some small beaches, so I think we'll stay entertained. Apple got approval to take off three weeks, which would make it a nice long vacation. 2FX might drop by for a week or two, so we can nerd it up over camera gear together. Diver was thinking of joining, but I think that's fairly unlikely, and could be somewhat awkward. And my colleague with whom Kanga and I went to Kenya (right before the country collapsed into disarray) may join for a week or so.

So if we rent a house and a car, it could be a pretty awesome trip, with five or six people rotating in and out over the three-week period. Possible side trips also include Venezuela, Aruba, and Curacao. But we'll see. Hopefully I'll have something booked by this time next week.

***

Last day of work is this Thursday. Eek. Craziness.

So... to make things even spicier, Apple dropped the L word yesterday.

I, being the smooth operator that I am, responded with some confused blinking, a hug, and then a diversionary, "Oh, look at what Fiver's doing!" Smooth. I was just so taken aback that I didn't know how I was supposed to respond.

But, anyways. Seriously? This soon??? How can you even begin to think about something
like the L word after knowing someone for two months and dating them
for a week?! And I thought that we had been quite explicit that this
was going to have to be a lighthearted, short-term kind of thing - not because it wouldn't have potential, but because of the circumstances. And Apple
seemed like the kind of person who would be perfectly OK with that. Of
course, theory and practice are entirely different things, especially
when it comes to relationships.

A little bit later, he brought up the fact that he's worried that he feels so strongly and that I'm leaving so soon. This seems to be a recurring theme in my life recently. And so we talked about it for a while, and really just arrived at the same conclusion that we came to initially - that you do what you can with what you have, and enjoy it while it lasts.

...

And then my Ambien kicked in, and Troid's Happy Crazy Time started! Apparently, out of the blue, I started regaling him with the finer points of a wonderful but relatively unknown sport - Emu Throwing. No idea where that came from, but he said I was giggling like crazy, wondering who came up with the sport, and insisting that it was going to be an event at the next Olympics. When pressed for the rules of the sport, I told him that you had to pick up and hurl emus through a door (which takes aim and accuracy), and then they measure the distance the emu travels (which takes brute force). It is further complicated by the fact that the emu is probably not very interested in participating, and is most likely resisting your efforts to throw it through a doorway. Then I got up to go to the restroom, nearly fell over after walking into a wall, and still couldn't stop laughing. He said he asked some further questions, because he was so amused by the whole thing, like, "Did it start in Europe?" and I very indignantly answered, "Duh, emus don't come from Europe, why would Emu Throwing have been invented here?"

So he says we fell asleep laughing about it, and he woke up laughing about it. Good old Ambien, never lets you down when you need a good laugh.

Three months from now, I'll be gone, which is such a scary thought, because I've been here for almost four years and had gotten pretty used to my happy little life here. So much to do, so little time.

To complicate things, there is a boy. Of course there's a boy. I'll call him Apple. It fits his initials.

Apple and I met two months ago, when I was dating Chiro, and Apple had a girlfriend, as well. Neither relationship was going well. Actually, he claims that we met in October at a party, but I have no recollection of it whatsoever, so I say that we met on a ski trip in December. In any case, we were all skiing and staying in two apartments for the weekend, and he was a big flirt, but it was harmless. No big deal.

We stayed in touch to some degree after that, you know how Facebook is. Then it happened that I was going to be in town for New Year's Eve, and he was having a party, so I dropped into that. We watched the fireworks in the freezing cold and he hugged me to keep me warm. His girlfriend was in the States, my boyfriend was who knows where. No big deal.

I finally got around to breaking up with Chiro in January - if the relationship had been a sick dog, it would have been put down months ago, but I'm not so good at that kind of thing. Apple and I still emailed and chatted online a good bit, and then started hanging out. He really is a big flirt, but he still had a girlfriend, so it was pretty clear that it was harmless. No big deal.

He would have me over to his place, cook dinner or order takeout, and watch DVDs. He called me at work during his smoke breaks, and chatted whenever we were online and not busy. We cuddled and held hands, nothing more. We were quite explicit in establishing that we were just friends. No big deal.

He bitched about his girlfriend and how they had nothing to talk about and how he would rather be by himself or hang out with me than hang out with her. He asked me for breakup advice. I told him that it wasn't fair to her to stay in the relationship if he wasn't really in it, but that he shouldn't base anything on me, since I'm leaving soon and really, the end of a relationship should be about the relationship itself, and not about someone else. We continued hanging out, and he was also flirting with other people. No big deal.

Then he broke up with her. He sent me an SMS right afterwards to tell me. That sort of raised the stakes a bit. But still, no big deal.

We've spent a ton of time together, getting along very companionably, and we eventually (inevitably?) crossed the line between platonic and non-platonic. To make things clearer, we decided to do the relationship thing, even though I'm leaving soon. We'll just have to fit everything into a smaller package, and it's been fun. We have the kind of insane chemistry that I've only had with my law school boyfriend, but without the destructive alcohol and drug issues that came with that relationship. He's a good cook, and he not only tolerates my sarcasm and teasing, but deals it out, too. We get along famously, and it's just the kind of fun thing I was looking for. I think.

Things got a bit complicated. At the same time that all of this was developing, it turns out that a mutual friend (who was also on the ski trip in December), who also happens to be a coworker of Kanga's, had perhaps been interested in Apple. And she had invited him on a snowboarding trip, along with one of my coworkers. When he went to pick up her gear, she asked if he had broken up with his girlfriend, and if he was single again. "Yes, well, no, um, sort of. Yeah, I broke up with her." Then he said he had to meet someone downtown. So she teased him about having a date on Valentine's Day (which he did, with me), and he got awkward and evasive.

Later, when he and I were talking about it, he admitted that he just liked to tease her to get a rise out of her, which was a bit deceptive and mean. Kanga, being stuck in the middle of all of this information, was hoping that something would get cleared up soon, and I wasn't really a big fan of the farce, either. So after some discussion, Apple agreed to clear things up, rather than continuing to string her along. And he did. So that's that. No big deal.

Except that I'm a bit worried about this whole thing. We're getting along well. Really well. The way I figure it, I'll be here for two or three months - that's just enough time to get to that point in a relationship where things are really going well, and you start to really like the person, but not enough time for you to be really annoyed at them and start to get tired of them (unless you're talking about something like me and Chiro, for example, in which case a few months was plenty of time to get tired of the relationship). As if leaving weren't already going to be hard enough, right?

Boys. Argh. But fun, anyways. I just hope that this doesn't turn out to be a big deal. Maybe things will sour quickly, and it won't be an issue by the time I leave. I don't know what to hope for - usually you want a relationship to go well, but in a case like this, is that really the best option?

I got my offer over the phone about a week and a half ago, then over email last week, and it came in hard copy today I signed it, sent them a scan of the executed offer letter, and put the hard copy in the mail.

Life is going to change.

I'll be living in the States again. I'll be near my sister and her family - not counting a couple of summers when she was in college, this will be the first time we've lived in the same state in seventeen years! It's crazy to think that, schedules permitting, we could have dinner or go shopping together without having to buy train or plane tickets or take any vacation time.

I'll be working at a real company! I've loved my job here, but it's very different working at an NGO and working at a business institution. I'll have business cards for the first time in my life, which sounds like a silly thing to be excited about, but it seems so grownup to me. I wasn't at the law firm long enough to get business cards printed, and we don't have them here. I'm not sure what I'll ever use them for, but it's funny to think that I could be one of those people who says, "Here, let me give you my card."

I'll eat regular meals! I'm terrible about eating regularly - I'm either too lazy to go buy groceries, or too lazy to cook, and so more often than not, I end up scavenging in my apartment and eating meals composed mainly of gummy candy, pasta, Tang, spinach, and some random cheese or tofu. Now I'll have more food than I'll be able to choose from, all for free, all at work. I've heard that there are food groups outside of gummy candy and tofu, and I'm curious to investigate them.

I'll be surrounded by all kinds of smart people - I kind of imagine that work will sort of be like being college again, only with more responsibility, more money, and less partying. It's going to be great. My friends and colleagues here ask me about what my new job will be like, and to be honest, I don't exactly know - it's a little bit like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - it's a mythical kind of place, but none of us on the outside really knows exactly what's going on inside... Talking about the company sort of turns into story time, "Tell us about the free food," "Tell us about the lack of dress code," "Tell us about the free buses to work, and the subsidies on hybrid cars," "Is it really the Best Place to Work?"

I'll know more once I'm there, I guess, but I'm excited to find out!!

I'm also sad, though. Although this is what I want more than anything else - it really is the Holy Grail of jobs for someone like me - it's going to be really hard to leave this life behind. As I was walking around town yesterday, I realized that I won't be here for the summer (and I love summer here), I won't have my annual birthday bash here, I won't see my friends here nearly as often as I'm accustomed to seeing them... The time difference that I've gotten used to with my sister is the time difference I'll have with my friends here. In a way, we've had our own college-like existence here - we live close together, we have very little stress, we have lots of free time, and we see each other often. Leaving here and moving there is going to be like graduating from college and starting college, all in one fell swoop.

I've got lots of travel to try to plan (depending on what's going on here and when my friends are free to travel), and a move to coordinate. Oof.

It's exhilarating, nerve-wracking, sad, exciting, stressful, and terrifying, all at the same time.

Yeye was
one cool dude. There's nothing quite like seeing the look on people's faces
when they see a 95-year-old man dancing at his grandchild's wedding, or when
they see a 100-year-old man playing the harmonica at his own birthday party.
Yeye lived a long life full of ups and downs and life changes, and I think that
it taught him to enjoy the simple things even more – a spoonful of peanut
butter with his morning xifan, a game of Hot Hands with a grandkid, a walk
around the block - and to find happiness wherever he could.

For a long
time, I thought Yeye was just a happy man by nature, but I think he was actually
happy by choice, which is much more difficult. The mention of Nainai, or a
visit to her grave, made it evident just how much sorrow he still carried within. 

I think
that many people, if they had lived Yeye's life - providing for a large, young
family, moving from China to Taiwan and later to the US, seeing the family separated and reunited,
losing his wife, and going through the aging process that is inevitable when
you reach 80, 90, and then 100 – would have become bitter and withdrawn. Yet
for as long as I can remember, Yeye was always happy to have people around. As
a child, I was fascinated by his bald, shiny head, and he tolerated my
exploratory pokes and pats with equanimity, and even offered it up for kisses.
He was patient with us, and kind.

When he
wasn't playing some silly child's game with one of us, he was reading his
newspaper, or strolling around the house, hands clasped behind his back,
humming some tune to himself, or picking out songs on the piano using only the
black keys.

Yeye was a
man who took what life handed him and made the best of it. He endured
the
difficult parts, enjoyed the good parts, and savored even the smallest
of pleasures.
Through sheer determination, he supported his family and pushed them to
succeed. Till the very end, he insisted on living as much of his life
on his own terms as he could. I feel lucky to have known him, and to
have known him for so long. I
love you, Yeye, and will never stop telling people about what a cool
dude my
grandfather was.

I can finally uncross my fingers And you can, too, in case you had any crossed for me

Whew. Have I mentioned how tired I am of tenterhooks? No details yet, but at least I know the offer is coming.

Fiver will still be able to come to work. I won't have to kill myself doing work I hate. I'll be near my sister and her family. The only sad thing is leaving my life here behind. There really is nothing like the life I've been living here - the hours, the vacation time, the pay, the standard of living, the quality of life, the travel - it's nothing like what's out there in the real world. And the friends I've made - I'll miss them, too, but I'm going to try to drag them out to California with me, too (ahem, Kanga...) This one-year hiatus unexpectedly turned into a four-year way of life. But everything changes, and the next life will have lots of good things, too.

***

Diver has proven to be a bit flaky, but, as always, another source of possible boy drama has developed.

• Madrid this past weekend was awesome:
• Sunny
• Good shopping
• Good food and wine
• Good conversation
• I should know more about the job situation by the end of this week, hopefully, or by next week, at the latest.
• Can you believe that they wanted my LSAT scores, even though I took the LSAT 10 years ago?
• Standardized tests are my strong suit, so I went ahead and sent them my SATs and APs, as well.
• Hey, if they're going to ask about ancient history, I might as well give them the whole story, right?
• They also wanted my grades, which are my weak point.
• If I don't get the job, I think it will be because of my grades. Everything else was good - interviews, tests, references, pedigree, etc.
• I may or may not be going on dates with a guy whom I initially met through Chiro, I'll call him Diver.
• Did I mention that I finally ended things with Chiro, after a long period of putting it off?
• It was pretty much over in September.
• But I didn't work up the motivation to officialize it till about a week and a half ago.
• And then Diver ended up coming to a big fondue night that I
  organized, and he and I talked about diving (and other things) the whole evening until 3
  a.m.
• After which he walked me home, and may or may not have contemplated kissing me. It's hard to say exactly what was going on, but after a moment or two of awkwardness, I said something like, "Er, well, good night, see you next week or something."
• And so we went to dinner and drinks last week.
• After dinner, we walked around for almost an hour trying to find a bar that had open seats. Seriously.
• He was exhausted, but we stayed out until midnight, anyways.
• And then he loaned me his umbrella because it had started raining. But it had stopped. But he said I should take it, just in case.
• And we are supposed to have drinks tonight.
• I have his umbrella, and was just going to give it back to him, but he said that we might as well go for a drink or two, if we're meeting up.
• I didn't argue.
• But you can never really tell what guys here are thinking, because you can literally go on ten "maybe dates" before anything becomes clear.
• I don't really know what I would like to happen (or not), but I have to admit that I do like the feeling of victory when someone makes a clear expression of interest, even if I decide not to reciprocate.
• Plus he's a diver.
• And he's cute.
• I know it might seem weird to go on maybe-dates with someone I met through my ex, but as far as I can tell, they don't know each that well.
• They have a common friend, but only see each other in the company of that friend.
• There have been several occasions in the past when Diver has called me to do something, but not Chiro.
• In fact, there was one occasion when Chiro called Diver and their mutual friend to see if they wanted to do something, and they told him that they were busy, then called me to do something, instead.
• I got a beautiful new phone!!
• My last phone was stolen
• It was very sad, because:
• It was a gift from my sister.
• It had pictures, SMSes, and videos on it that I hadn't downloaded.
• It had a little charm on it that I got in Finland.
• It had lots of phone numbers that I have to go about collecting again.
• But I got insurance money for it, and a discount from my cell phone company.
• Isn't she lovely?
• Five megapixels!!!
• This is the year of winter sports for me.
• Skiing in December
• Sledding the other week
• Sledding here is nothing like sledding in the States.
• It involves gondolas and chair lifts - it's serious business.
• Skiing again this weekend
• Curling next month (yup, that's the one with the ice, the rocks, and the brooms)
• And maybe more skiing in March, and more sledding at some point?

There you have it. Maybe I should make this into a Powerpoint presentation.

2007 Highs:

• Kenya - sun, safari, and scuba
• Getting the first call and email from the recruiter
• Best. Meal. Ever. In Brussels.
• Not getting lost in Slovakia
• Andrew Bird concert

2007 Lows:

• My cousin's son's funeral
• Euthanizing two relationships
• The uncertainty of not knowing what comes next

2007 Weird Moments:

• Getting a vibrator from my mom
• Seeing all the families in Jesus shirts in Kansas City
• Finding my stalker on Facebook

2008 Aspirations, both Low and High (this won't all get accomplished in one year):

• Learn how to finger whistle
• Learn Swahili (because how cool and useless would that be??)
• Learn how to dive (not scuba dive, but the opposite-of-bellyflop dive, because no, I never learned)
• Learn how to write with my toes
• Learn how to blow bubble rings
• Get a job that's a worthy follow-up to this one (please let this happen soon...)

[Edit: Um, yeah, I meant 2007 for the things that already happened, thanks, zisixi]

[Edit: some more random aspirations:

• See the Northern Lights
• Visit my 50th country (currently at 43)
• Log my 200th dive (currently at about 180)]

While we were in New Jersey one night after the little kids were asleep, my sister, cousins, and I came across this wonderful Engrish rendition of the lyrics to a long-forgotten (or for most people, never-heard) song called "Blue Balloon":

Maybe it was the Engrish, maybe it was the late hour, maybe it was the giddiness that comes of cousins hanging out once again, but we were laughing so hard that we cried. I love that the song is clearly entitled "Blue Balloon," but in the body of the lyrics, it got mangled into "ruber room."

Expernations! Hours golad! The convoe is here!

It's as if Shakespeare tried his hand at rewriting Jabberwocky into Olde English.

* The all-powerful Internet indicates that the lyrics should be something more like this (although I have my doubts about some of them still):

I have a blue balloon, a happy tune
Love enough to last me all through the afternoon
I have the New York Times and 14 dimes
And expectations of the most profound nursery rhyme
Before the rivers run dry
Before the last say good-bye
Let's be kind to one another, we can try
So don't just throw your love above
It's not too late
to find out
Before the sand has all run out of the hour glass
The carnival is here
The crown appears
Plastic painted people hold each other near
Hopes are always high
The echo of the sky and when it's
over
There's just a lonely sight of good-bye
Too late to hide it now
It's all around us now
Oh! How I want you girl
To lie beside me now
While there still this time
and now my balloon still rhyme
Let me love you now
We can drink a cool, good wine
So don't just throw your love above
You and me had last find
out
Before the sand has all run out of the hour-glass

Happy New Year!! And Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Good Solstice, and so on, since it's been so long since I've posted. I have an excellent excuse. I've been traveling non-stop for the last 2.5 weeks, hitting San Francisco, New Jersey, New York, and Marrakech (with a less-than-one-day stop here to do a quick load of laundry, pack, and celebrate the New Year). And man, I'm ready for some time in my apartment!!

It will take several entries to get all caught up on here, but the longer I wait, the more there will be.

Let's start with Christmas, even though that's a bit out of order, since the interviews were before then. But I want to start with Christmas, anyways.

Back up a bit, and start with a story. Right before I left for vacation, an Irish friend said he had yet to buy his quasi-girlfriend a Christmas present, and asked me what I was asking for, in hopes, I suppose, of getting a good idea for a female-friendly gift. After I told him what I was getting, however, he said that I was of no use whatsoever, and implied that I was a big nerd. What did I get for Christmas, you ask?

Well, my parents gave me money, as usual, which I put towards getting a 750 GB hard drive (which 2FX ordered for me, and considerately loaded with 600 GB of movies and TV shows), and my sister and her family got me (among other things) this:

Yes, it's ever so awesome, especially with the added bonus of the ready-ripped movies, but definitely not the thing to get for your quasi-girlfriend.

Oh... and then there's another little gift that my mom gave me. When she was giving me some mail, she also handed me a gift-wrapped box and said, "I got this in China; it's great for long plane rides." I opened it, and discovered... well, this:

??!!?!?!

My mother got me a vibrator for Christmas. Seriously.

She called it a massager, however, because that's what it says on the package, and said that it's good for your face and neck. Which then forced me to think about my mom on one of her long-haul flights to China, rubbing a vibrator all over her face. Eek. "Ma'am, you'll have to turn that off during takeoff, please." Also, where did she buy it? Did she unwittingly get it at a porn shop? Or did she get it from one of those random we-sell-everything stores? How did she not realize what it was? And I assume she bought one for herself, since she was extolling its virtues, but did she also get one for my dad, who takes more long flights than the rest of us put together? In which case, does he whip it out on long flights, to the surprise and bemusement of his fellow passengers in business class?

So, I think I win this year's award for Weirdest Gift From a Parent. My sister and I nearly died laughing.

Check out the wicked spikes on one of the included tips. Ouch. Not sure what kind of massage that would give.

And check out the excellent instructions on the side of the box:

Yes, I got things for other people, as well, although none quite as astonishing as my mom's last gift to me. I got my niece this, which she loved, despite the shocking shade of Pepto pink:

She's into princesses and pink and dress-up now, a phase I don't remember going through, since the part of my childhood that I can remember was filled with Transformers, He-Man, stuffed animal wars, and getting gum stuck in my hair.

And I got my nephew this:

Yes, I am hoping he will become as much of a gadget nerd as I am, so that we can nerd it up together one day I don't think the other things I got for people are picture-worthy, so I'll leave them to your imagination.

And here is the requisite annual family photo, natch:

 

Hope you and yours are healthy, safe, and happy. More updates to come, there's so much to catch up on! I'm all caught up on reading, so I'll do some commenting soon, as well...