December 13, 2011

  • there and back again

    I went to my cousin's funeral over the weekend. As expected, it was heartbreaking to see his wife and daughter, his siblings and dad, and all of the aunts, uncles, and cousins, and to know why we were all gathering in one place. I learned a lot about him, though. I've only ever known my cousin as... well, my brilliant cousin. It was really good to meet people who knew him as a friend, a classmate, a colleague, or a mentor. The church was full, the balcony was full, there were people standing in the aisles, and they had more people in an overflow room with a video feed. They've started a scholarship in his name at the university where he was a professor. It was wonderful to find out that this cousin, who has always been so loved and respected in our family, was equally loved and respected by the rest of his friends and coworkers. I hope that means that his wife and daughter will have friends and helpers for as long as they need them, and that my cousin will be remembered by a lot of people for a long time.

    After the funeral, our family went to dinner, and after that, some of the cousins hung out for a few hours, and it was good to be together. Most of the cousins had left their spouses and kids behind, so it was just us, catching up on each others' lives, reminiscing about old times, and talking about our memories of cousin #1. We realized that with most of the cousins married off, and all of our parents aging, more and more of our family gatherings will probably be like this one. It was strange to think that, since for many years, we always got together for planned family reunions or for raucous weddings.