April 14, 2012
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visible
Due to a combination of factors: staying in one job for four years, dating the same person for over three years, working with mostly married people, living in the suburbs, leading a slower social life, and growing older, I feel like I’ve become a little bit invisible. Single people living in a city and going out with friends give off a certain vibe that attracts attention, and settled people living in the suburbs and staying in to watch TV don’t give off any vibe at all.
I had kind of forgotten about that vibe, until someone at work asked me out on a date. I think. I realized that since I only moved over to this building recently, and have only just started getting to know the team, the guys I work with now have no idea whether I’m single or unavailable, and so maybe it isn’t that I’ve gotten so terribly plain or frumpy or invisible over the past few years, it’s just that everyone I know also knew that I’m off-limits in a way I was never off-limits in the past. Maybe once you’ve been dating the same person for more than a year or two, everyone else just mentally files you into a different category. It’s not that I want people to notice me all the time. I just kind of wondered if I’d changed a lot for the worse over the past few years and become invisible the way I remember “boring old people” being invisible when I was younger.
So, thank you, coworker who asked me on a date, for not knowing that I’m unavailable and going out on a limb and making me feel visible again.
Comments (4)
That’s always flattering! I’d be terrified to ask out a coworker. In a university, it’s easier to go out on a limb because if the person is from a different department, it’s easy to disappear from their planet entirely in case that’s called for. But it’s a sign of maturity and self-confidence that he recovered enough for you to not mention any residual awkwardness… right?
Well they say ignorance is bliss. Though I don’t think it was intended in quite thi way! No matter his ignorance is your bliss.
Seriously I’d log into BBC iplayer next time your struggling to nod off, antiques roadshow will have you dozing in no time.
@czarinaviv - re: awkwardness, not sure. I invited him to lunch today, but he already had plans, so will have to see how the next interaction goes. I think it’s OK, though.
@virtualea - I think TV would keep me up. I’ve stayed up later than intended way too many times from watching random stuff on TV…