January 6, 2011

• final review

  My 2010 goals (with Q3 and final evaluations) were as follows:

  1. Calm down. I’m not sure how to score this one, really. I think I’m by nature a rather anxious person and prone to worry, if not outwardly, then inside my head. My approach to life might seem pretty calm, compared to my peers, but inside my head, I am constantly plagued by ghosts and demons of my own creation, and driven to do things for unknown reasons. On my reading mission, for example, I set myself a leisurely target of 40 books in a year, but once I exceeded that, I started setting higher and higher targets, to the point that I sometimes actually got a little bit worried that I might not “finish.” Finish what? I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t have picked “calm down” as a resolution, because although I handle things that normal people stress out about pretty well (paying bills, getting work done, etc.), I really excel at finding my own things to worry about. Q3 evaluation: Needs improvement. Final evaluation: This is still something I need to work on. The time off for the holidays definitely helped, but as soon as I got back into the office, all of the familiar anxiety restarted.
  2. Figure out what to do with my money other than spend it or let it pile up in a bank account. I have continued leaving most of my money in the bank. I have continued spending it whenever I feel like it. I am slowly accumulating stock and options, but that doesn’t really count in my favor, since I get them automatically for work. On the other hand, I still max out my retirement contribution, and have reallocated it to a somewhat more aggressive portfolio (although it’s still on the conservative side for someone my age — I am boring myself to tears just typing this). My biggest change on this front was to write a very large check and send it to 2FX’s most recent business venture. If it turns out well, I’ll call it an investment. If it turns out poorly, I’ll pretend it never happened. Q3 evaluation: Has shown some progress, but still needs improvement. Final evaluation: No further progress. Hm.
  3. Read at least 40 books. As mentioned, I’ve consumed 81 books since getting a Kindle. Even if you take out the twelve that were in 2009, and the twelve that I listened to in the car, that’s still 57 books in 2010 so far, which means that my 2010 total has a chance of hitting 70 (excluding audiobooks). Q3 evaluation: Exceeds expectations. Final evaluation: I made it to 100 books in 2010. I’m going to say that this one makes up for all of the others.
  4. Get really good at my job. On one hand, my manager said that I’ve exceeded expectations for the last three quarters, and he is putting my name in the running for a promotion this cycle, but on the other hand, I probably won’t get it this cycle, because there are other, more senior, more capable people who are ahead of me in that line. So I think I’m doing pretty well, but still have much to learn. I’ve pulled off some pretty big deals and some heavy-duty drafting, but there’s a chance I might have to go to Germany to negotiate a very big deal while stranded nine timezones ahead of all of the people I usually turn to for real-time help, and the fact that I find this possibility extremely daunting means that I’m not good enough for me to consider myself really good just yet. Q3 evaluation: Has shown improvement; meets expectations. Final evaluation: I got great reviews this year, and my manager says I’m probably on track for promotion in the next six months, so I’m going to call this a win with room for further improvement. 

  2010 Highs:

  • Palau and Yap with Superman, Kanga, and Roo (especially coming out of the water on a night dive in Palau, and seeing an sky full of stars above and an ocean full of phosphorescent plankton below). Such an amazing vacation.
  • This is technically in 2011, but on January 1, we (Superman, Kanga, and Roo) had an amazing dinner at Alinea
  • Fun times in Z-town, where I got to celebrate Kanga and Roo’s engagement firsthand and catch up with lots of friends
  • Boston for the first time in years and years, catching up with college friends and singing through the Brahms Requiem
  • Remembering many times how lucky I am to work at a company that basically worships its employees
  • Discovering that frequent mini-blogs about good things really focus me on how many good things there are

  2010 Lows: 

  • Dealing with a super-frustrating client, who is a lamentable combination of being very senior, very pushy, and very useless, and who calls random fire drills, which then require me to stay late at work, so that the lights turn off automatically every 20 minutes or so, and then I have to run out of my office and wave my arms until one of the motion sensors notices me, and I get annoyed because my office is in a dead zone, and I just want to get the work done and not have to waste time running around and waving my arms… Yeah. And there are some other annoying ones, too, but he is at the top of my list.
  • Suddenly having to pack up and move (but this turned out OK, since the house is good, and Superman is finally all moved in)

  2010 Weird Moments:

  • Strip club in Vegas
  • An unfortunate conversation with my mom

  2011 Aspirations:

  • Keep calm — This is a repeat from last year, but I think it’s important enough for me that I need to keep it as a priority.
  • Carry on — I need to get used to the idea that everyone I know is growing up, and stop letting it make me sad.
  • Be well – I need more calcium and an occasional trip to the gym.
  • Be good — I’m going to find more ways to be good. More charitable donations and volunteer work. More kindness and patience with my friends and family. More treats for my dog.
  • Stay on target – Stay on top of all of the other stuff, like reading, working, saving, and figuring out how to do everything better, faster, smarter.

  • 9:06 pm
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