November 3, 2008

• obviously

  So I suppose it’s obvious that something was going to happen with Superman, and that the line would be crossed. It was strange to cross that line, because we have been coworkers and friends all along, with no hint of impropriety. Even when we started having suspicions that maybe we didn’t see each other just as colleagues, everything was as proper as a Jane Austen novel — I don’t think we ever touched, except maybe if we shook hands upon meeting in May. Perhaps an accidental brush of a hand when passing out wine, or something, but nothing improper.

  To go from that to a non-platonic form of interaction is a big adjustment. So it’s been a rather careful and deliberate testing of boundaries, which makes it all the more fun. What makes it even odder is that as soon as anyone from work is around, we have to forget about this little side project and act as if nothing is going on. It’s sort of hard to figure out how to give that impression, since before anything was going on, even in our heads, people thought something was going on, because we were always talking and laughing at private jokes and hanging out. So I’m not sure how to act “natural” without raising suspicion, since what was natural before was raising suspicion, even though suspicion was not warranted at the time.

  It’s a problem, yes, but what an amusing problem to have. We are still taking things at a rather dignified pace, in terms of figuring out what we’re going to do. We’re still weighing out how it would affect our friendship, and what to do about the work thing. I guess we’re just testing the waters a bit to see if it would make sense to dive all the way in. We’ll see… Superman is a lot like me in many ways — we laugh at the same things, make the same jokes, and share the same opinions and perspectives on a lot of things, both significant and trivial. On the other hand, he is older and much more “settled” in his life than I am in mine. He has a house, a yard boy, a garage, and a wine cellar. He has various home improvement projects in the works. I’m not sure I would feel comfortable slowing down to that speed. On the other hand, I think that one of the reasons he likes hanging out with me is that I am constantly trying to push him out of his comfortable rut and onto uncomfortable paths, so maybe I won’t have to slow down. Maybe he’ll speed up.

  Last week was a bad week, sleep-wise. The stress of finishing up the Apple situation, some recurring nightmares, and a couple of late nights talking to and canoodling with Superman have taken their toll. Must. Sleep. More. Other than the stress and sadness of dealing with Apple, and the exhaustion from lack of sleep, however, I think it was a good week, overall. It’s good to have tied up that last loose end, and to be able to turn and face forward and live my life in one piece. It’s such a relief. I’ve finally placed my bets on this life, and I’m pretty sure it was the right thing to do.

  Speaking of Superman, I am loving this video these days. It cracks me up every time I even think about it, much less watch it.

  • 12:48 am
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