I found out today that my boss (the head of the office) from the four years that I lived in Z-town just passed away rather suddenly. She was a great mentor and dear friend to me while I was living there (and my dog loved her with a deep and bladder-stimulating devotion), and I know that I wouldn’t have my job now if she hadn’t been such a strong advocate for me. She changed my life while I was working for her, and she has changed the entire trajectory of my life since then. 

She worked like crazy, and was always stressed. the rest of us were working European 40-hour weeks, and she was pulling late nights and weekends the whole time. She and I used to half-joke that she was going to work herself to death, and we had talked about her taking some time off and maybe even coming to visit me in California for a while after the job finally finished. It makes me so terribly sad to think that she never got to see the project wrap up, after working so much for so many years, and that she never did get to take that time for herself. It’s hard to think of her in the hospital without many friends nearby, and I wonder if she was lonely or scared. It makes me cry to think that her dog and cats will have to find new homes, that I’ll never get to see her again, and that I never got to say goodbye. 

We’ve kept in touch for the four years since I left Europe, with occasional phone calls, texts, and emails, and we’ve met up for meals when I’ve been back to visit, but her most recent email to me is still sitting in my inbox, unanswered, signed with “lots of love.” She knew that I loved her, too, because I told her every time we talked or emailed or saw each other, but I wish I had replied to her email before it was too late.

Love you, MC, and I will miss you and be grateful for everything you did for me for the rest of my life.